Toddler Tantrums, Emotions, and How to Work Through It
Oh My God, My Toddler Bites! Toddler Tantrums, Emotions, and How to Work Through It
You’re not alone. If your toddler has ever gone full shark mode at daycare, during playtime, or even while snuggling — deep breath. Biting is more common than you think, and no, it doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with your child.
It just means they’re human… and tiny. With big feelings. And not quite enough words (yet).
Let’s talk about why toddler tantrums and biting happen — and how to work through it with calm, compassion, and connection.
🧠 Why Do Toddlers Bite?
Biting is a form of emotional expression — not a moral failure.
Here’s what your toddler might be trying to say with their teeth:
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I’m overwhelmed
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I can’t express myself
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I’m frustrated or overstimulated
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I want attention, but I don’t know how to ask
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I’m teething or exploring the world with my mouth
Remember, toddlers are still building their emotional regulation skills. They’re not trying to be “bad” — they’re trying to cope with a feeling they don’t yet understand.
💥 What’s Behind a Toddler Tantrum?
Tantrums (and biting) often come from emotional overload. Think of it like a fizzy bottle of emotions that gets shaken until… pop.
Tantrums are developmentally appropriate and actually healthy in the long run — as long as children are supported in working through them.
The goal isn’t to stop tantrums or biting entirely — it’s to guide your child through the emotions underneath.
🛠️ How to Work Through It (Without Losing Your Mind)
Here’s how to handle biting and tantrums with calm and connection:
1. Stay Calm (Even If You Want to Scream)
Your calm is their calm. Take a breath. Kneel down. Use a low, steady voice.
“I see you’re feeling really upset. I’m here.”
2. Name the Emotion
“You felt angry when your toy was taken. That’s hard.”
Naming the feeling builds emotional literacy — it’s the first step toward resilience.
3. Set Clear Boundaries
“It’s okay to feel mad. But biting hurts. I’m going to keep everyone safe.”
You’re teaching them that all feelings are okay — but not all actions are.
4. Offer a Safe Outlet
Redirect the impulse:
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“You can bite this chewy toy.”
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“You can stomp your feet.”
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“You can squeeze this pillow.”
This helps build replacement behaviours — a key part of emotional development.
5. Circle Back Later (When Calm Returns)
Use calm moments to talk, reflect, and connect. Practice:
“Next time you feel mad, what could you do instead of biting?”
This empowers your child with “when I feel X, I can do Y” thinking — a theme from our Helping Toddlers with Feelings book.
🧸 Be Kind to Yourself (and Your Toddler)
Biting feels confronting. Tantrums feel exhausting. But your toddler isn’t trying to ruin your day — they’re trying to learn how to be in their body, in this world.
You’re not a bad parent. They’re not a bad child. You’re both doing something really big: learning emotional regulation together.
You’ve got this. And even if today was full of meltdowns, you still showed up. That matters.
📚 A Tool to Help: Helping Toddlers with Feelings
Our book Helping Toddlers with Feelings was designed for these exact moments. It helps children:
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Name what they feel
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Learn simple, repetitive coping strategies
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Feel empowered to move through big emotions safely
And it helps you feel supported, too. Because toddler emotions are a lot — and we all need tools that actually work.
