What’s More Important—The Alphabet or Learning to Name Your Emotions?

emotional literacy helping toddlers with feelings resilience Feb 19, 2025

Feelings First: What’s More Important—The Alphabet or Learning to Name Your Emotions?

A is for apple.
B is for ball.
C is for… crying on the floor because someone took your toy and you don’t have the words to explain how you feel.

We teach kids their ABCs before they can walk straight. We drill letters, numbers, colours, and shapes. And yes — literacy matters.

But what if we told you that emotional literacy might matter even more?

At My Wellbeing School, we believe in a simple but radical idea:

Feelings come first.
Before reading.
Before writing.
Before anything else — we need to learn how to be with ourselves.

🧠 What Is Emotional Literacy?

Emotional literacy is the ability to:

Recognise what you’re feeling
Name the emotion
Understand where it’s coming from
Express it in healthy ways
Empathise with others’ feelings, too

It’s the foundation of emotional regulation, resilience, and connection — all essential for lifelong wellbeing.

💥 Why “Feelings First” Isn’t Just Fluffy

Some people worry that focusing on feelings will distract from “real learning.”
But here’s what the research says:

🧠 Children with strong emotional skills perform better academically.
😌 Emotional regulation is linked to better attention and classroom behaviour.
❤️ Kids who can name emotions are less likely to act out or internalise stress.
🧍 Emotional literacy improves relationships, empathy, and cooperation.

In other words: when children feel safe and seen, they learn better. Full stop.

🧒 The Alphabet Can Wait… Emotional Literacy Can’t

Imagine a child who can sing the alphabet but doesn’t know how to say:

“I’m sad because I miss my mum.”
“I’m scared to try something new.”
“I’m angry but I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Without emotional literacy, letters don’t help that child calm their nervous system or build resilience.

But when a child knows what they’re feeling?
They can pause.
They can breathe.
They can ask for help.

Then the learning can really begin.

💬 And here’s the beautiful thing…

My 3-year-old is obsessed with the alphabet.
Every night, he writes it out with joy.
He notices letters in the world around him — a “T” shaped rock, a “Y” stick on a walk, the “S” in a puddle’s curve.

It’s magical.
And it reminds me: kids are wired to learn. But they need to feel safe enough to be curious.

That’s where emotional literacy comes in.
It’s not a replacement for the ABCs.
It’s the foundation they rest on.

📚 How We Teach Feelings First

At My Wellbeing School, our resources and picture books are intentionally designed to:

Help children name their emotions
Offer calming strategies for big feelings
Support teachers and caregivers in creating emotionally safe environments
Use repetition and rhythm to build emotional language — just like the ABCs

Books like How Am I Feeling? and Helping Toddlers with Feelings were created to put emotional development at the centre of learning.

Because if a child knows how to recognise a feeling and choose a response — they’re not just school-ready.
They’re life-ready.

💛 Final Thought: Let’s Redefine What Matters Most

We’re not saying letters don’t matter. They absolutely do.

But emotions come first — and when we prioritise emotional literacy, everything else flows more smoothly:

Stronger relationships
Better focus
Deeper learning
Healthier minds

So the next time someone asks,
“Shouldn’t we focus more on reading?”
You can smile and say:

“Yes. And we’re starting with reading emotions.”